


Pull him out of it, but don't fall in yourself.

by readwritebeawesome



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Attempt-Suicide, Drug Addiction, Mild Sexual Assault, Multi, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 13:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 16,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2582291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readwritebeawesome/pseuds/readwritebeawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan's not too crazy about the idea of university, and his roommate isn't going to make his time there any better. Especially since he's addicted to an illegal drug. Eridan wants to do something for him, but what is he supposed to do? As long as he doesn't get addicted too, he should be fine.</p><p>...Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here's my first fanfiction on this site. :) I hope you like it.

“Eridan, get off your ass and get out the door already.” Eridan scowled at his brother and grabbed his suitcase.  
“Fuck you too Cronus.” he muttered as he walked out. His dad was making him go to university. Eridan was a bright guy and got great grades in science, but he really didn’t like the idea of university. But in his house, he had to do what his dad said and not complain or else. His brother got much more freedom, and as such was part of a gang. Eridan made a point of avoiding his brother and not letting him near his girlfriend Feferi.  
Other than Feferi, Eridan didn’t have any other friends. They’d been dating since their last year of highschool. Feferi would be going to a different university to study marine biology. But it was close by so they would be able to see each other. And they could talk on the phone.  
Unlike Eridan, Feferi didn’t have to move into a dorm. Her sister lived right near the university she was going to and was letting her stay with her. Eridan had no relatives in the city and Feferi’s sister didn’t like him much because apparently he reminded her too much of Cronus. But they really weren’t that alike at all.  
“Hi Eridan!” Eridan smiled and turned to see Feferi run up to him. She hugged him and he kissed her forehead.  
“Hi Fef.” he said.  
“C’mon, you ready to go?”  
“Yeah.” Feferi was taking the sky train with Eridan to the next city; where they were going to university. Feferi had her suitcase with her as well and seemed to be in a much better mood than Eridan.  
“I wonder how Meenah’s doing?” she wondered aloud. “I can’t wait to sea her again!”  
“Yeah.”  
“Don’t be so gloomy Eridan! I’m shore you’ll get a nice roommate.”  
“Yeah.” Feferi sighed and patted Eridan’s head. He was taller than her of course but she always seemed so tall to him. Maybe it was because of her big and happy personality.  
The two of them got on the sky train with their tickets and sat down. They held hands and Eridan stared out the window as the sky train moved forward. He was leaving the town he’d grown up in. And it actually made him pretty excited. Feferi seemed excited too and she kept kicking her legs and humming.  
After awhile they arrived at their station. “Now approaching Beforus station.” Eridan and Feferi stood up, gripping their suitcases. They walked off the sky train and went down the escalator. Eridan grabbed a soft drink from a vending machine before following Feferi outside.  
The city was how Eridan expected it to be: like Alternia, but with different shops and different people. There were the same city smells as Alternia and the same flocks of pigeons that Alternia had. There were even the usual groups of smokers in a nearby park.  
“Feferi!” Eridan and Feferi turned to see Meenah waving to them, standing next to her black car. Feferi grinned and ran up to her. Eridan followed behind.  
“Meenah!” Feferi said, hugging her sister. Meenah quickly made her let go.  
“Yeah, great to see you too. Do I have to give your boyfrond a ride too?”  
“Only if it’s not too much trouble.” Feferi said. Meenah sighed.  
“Fine. Get in.” Eridan and Feferi sat in the back with their suitcases in front of them. Meenah blared music loudly as she drove down the street. “Where are you going?” she asked.  
“Beforus Univversity—Scratch street.” Eridan said. Meenah took a sharp turn once he said that and Eridan hit his head on the window. “Oww! Fuck!”  
“Sorry, not.” Meenah said, smirking to Eridan in the review mirror. Eridan flipped her off and she laughed.  
It was about a twenty minute drive to the university. It was an imposing grey building with plenty of windows and a dying willow tree on the front lawn. The dorms were right next door and nearly identical, except for the fact that one was a pale white and the other was the same ugly grey as the university. Eridan hated it already.  
“Wooow.” Meenah said. “What a shithole.” Eridan nodded and grabbed his suitcase. He got out of the car and stretched. Feferi got out and gave him a hug. He smiled and kissed her.  
“See you soon.” she said.  
“Yeah.” Eridan watched her climb back into the car and waved as Meenah drove off. Then he sighed and grabbed his suitcase. He walked into the boy’s dorm, which was the grey dorm. He passed by some other kids who mostly seemed to be nerds. Eridan wore glasses, but he wasn’t a nerd. At least, no one had ever called him that to his face, except for Meenah.  
Eridan found his dorm and unlocked it. He walked in and saw his roommate was already there. He was sitting on his bed with a laptop on his lap and he was typing quickly. He had brown hair and 3D glasses on for some reason. He gave Eridan a quick nod before going back to his computer. Eridan sighed and plunked his suitcase by the other bed. He sat down and glanced at his roommate.  
“Wwhat’s your name?” he asked. The guy glanced up at him briefly.  
“Thollux.” he said before going back to his computer.  
“Okay. I’m Eridan.” Sollux grunted in response and kept typing. Eridan sighed and lay down. “Wwhat are you evven doing?”  
“Coding.” Eridan nodded and sighed. Great, his roommate was boring as shit. And seemed to have no personality. Eridan got bored and started pacing around. Then something caught his eye. A small see-thru box lying by Sollux’s bed. Eridan picked it up and turned it over. The label on it read Mind Honey. It was full of yellow pills. Eridan stared at it. Mind Honey was a new type of drug, and it was illegal.  
“Is this yours?!” he exclaimed. Sollux got up and snatched it out of his hands and stuffed it under his mattress. Eridan saw that when he was standing up Sollux was much taller than him.  
“Yeth. Tho you didn’t thee a thing.” Sollux said.  
“Wwhat the hell?! That’s fucking ille-” Sollux clamped his hand over Eridan’s mouth and held him in place.  
“You didn’t thee anything, okay?” he repeated, pulling a knife out of his shirt. Eridan stared at it with wide eyes. “Okay?!” Eridan nodded quickly and Sollux put his knife away and took his hand off Eridan’s mouth. “Good.” He sat back on his bed and kept coding. Eridan sat back on his bed, still shaken.  
Great, his roommate was a crazy addict. Eridan was not looking forward to his school year with this guy.


	2. Chapter 2

Sollux stared at his laptop screen as his fingers tapped the keys at an amazing speed. The code in front of him grew longer and longer and while he knew what he was doing, he was only half conscious of what he was typing. Sometimes, when he coded, his mind wandered. He really didn’t like it when that happened, because he started to dwell on things he’d rather not.

Like Aradia.

It had been months since her death. Or maybe not that long. Sometimes Sollux couldn’t remember. Other times he could remember the day like it had been yesterday. Her blank, dead eyes that had stared up at him and seemed to pierce his heart and left him cold and shivering.

Sollux growled and shook his head to get rid of the image forming in it. He didn’t want to remember that. Coding was a great way to escape from the world and just focus on the letters on the screen. But at times when unwanted thoughts kept swimming to the surface, coding wasn’t enough. Sollux needed Mind Honey.

Sollux had no idea how Mind Honey did what it did. Heck, he was never really even sure what it did to him. He would swallow the pill and hours later, when it wore off, he’d remember mostly what he did but not what the pill felt like, what it really did to him. It could be infuriating, but the curiosity was part of the reason he kept taking it. The other part of the reason was simple: he was addicted.

Sollux always knew how many pills were in his small box. When he bought a new one he would spend awhile counting all the pills. Then he would take one and always keep count of how many there were. He didn’t know why he did that; he just did. It was another crazy obsession of his.

Sollux reached under his mattress and pulled the small box out. He’d just gotten it recently so it was still practically full. He opened the tab at the top and dropped a pill onto his hand. He put the box back under the mattress and popped the pill into his mouth. He could feel someone’s eyes on him as he did. It was probably Eridan. But Sollux was only vaguely aware of his presence at that moment. He swished the pill around with his tongue for a few seconds before he swallowed.

 

Eridan stared as Sollux swallowed the pill. Why the hell did he take those things? Eridan just couldn’t understand it. Maybe Sollux was depressed, or just your regular addict. He had no idea, and didn’t feel a need to know. He just watched Sollux lean back, gripping the sheets of his bed. His left eye kept twitching in a sort of rhythm. He tilted his head back and hummed a single, continuous tune.  
Something about the tune made Eridan feel weird. But he just couldn’t place what it was. He tried plugging his ears but the humming was too loud. In the end he gave up and just lay down and tried to get some sleep. He’d been at the dorm for hours now and he was ready to sleep. The clock on the wall read 10:43 pm. Eridan glanced at Sollux and watched him lean his head from side to side in time with the ticking of the clock. He kept humming and he would clench and unclench his hands as he tilted his head and the clock ticked. The sight was rather eerie and Eridan quickly turned over so his back was to Sollux.  
“…of co…I…don’t be…” Eridan frowned and glanced at Sollux. He was muttering quietly and Eridan could only pick up a few words. He couldn’t tell if Sollux was muttering to himself or if he thought he was talking to someone. But either way the sight of Sollux drugged and all…weird, just freaked Eridan out. He turned over and pulled his pillow over his head. Sollux would be normal when Eridan woke up and he could forget he saw that.

 

When Sollux became aware of his surroundings; in a sense he “woke up”—except he hadn’t been asleep, it was dark in the room. He glanced tiredly at the clock and saw it was past midnight. He shut off his laptop and put it on his desk. He glanced to his left and saw Eridan was asleep. He’d almost forgotten he was there.  
Sollux was surprised he’d hardly done anything while the pill was in effect. He remembered he mostly lay there humming, and at one point he was pretty sure he’d stared at Eridan for awhile, but that was pretty much all he could remember doing. He thought he might have ended up doing more since there was another person in the room. But it was probably a good thing he hadn’t done anything. He had no idea what he could have done. He’d always been alone when he took the pill. Hopefully that meant the presence of someone else in the room didn’t affect what he did.  
Sollux stood up and walked into their dorm’s bathroom. He glanced in the mirror and saw his eyes were slightly bloodshot and his left one was twitching again. It always did that after he took Mind Honey. It probably did that while it was active too. He sighed and tried to make it stop, but it didn’t work. He shrugged and walked back into his dorm and lay back in bed. He stared at the ceiling for awhile and wondered what it felt like when Mind Honey was affecting him. The curiosity nagged at him and he was tempted to reach under his mattress and pull out the box and swallow another. But then he wouldn’t get any sleep and he wouldn’t be able to concentrate during class.  
Hoping he wouldn’t get any dreams, Sollux closed his eyes and relaxed his breathing. He soon fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Eridan sat in class with the many other students as the teacher; Doctor Scratch, talked about a formula he was drawing on the chalkboard. But for once, Eridan wasn’t really paying attention. He was too busy thinking about Sollux.

Should he call the police? What if Sollux found out and attacked Eridan before they could get there? Was the drug even that harmful? It didn’t seem to make Sollux violent or anything. It just made him, well, drugged. High. It was pretty much like alcohol then, right? Sure, it was illegal, but there was nothing wrong if Eridan didn’t call the police, right? It wasn’t that he was scared to; he just didn’t see a reason to. Yeah, that’s all it was.

“Mr. Ampora, could you please explain why this formula is flawed?” Doc Scratch asked, snapping Eridan out of his thoughts. He stared at the blackboard in surprise. He hadn’t been paying attention. For once, Eridan couldn’t answer a science question.

“Uh…I don’t knoww.” he said. Doc Scratch nodded and asked another girl. Eridan could feel his face reddening slightly and pulled his scarf up a bit. He wasn’t cold or anything, he just liked it. It was sort of like a good-luck charm or something.

At lunch Eridan sat outside under the dead willow tree. Most students avoided it because there was a bee’s nest high up in it. But the bees didn’t seem to be going after Eridan’s food, so he was fine with sitting there.

“Eridan!” Eridan turned and grinned when he saw Feferi run up to him. He stood up and kissed her.

“Hi Fef.” he said. Feferi grinned at him. Her cheeks were flushed from running all the way over to his university and she was breathing a bit heavily. But Eridan knew she would get annoyed if he fussed over her. So he sat down and she sat down next to him. She had her lunch with her and as they both ate she talked to him about her day. Eridan mostly paid attention to what she said. But he was distracted by the sound of typing.

Sollux was sitting near them, on the other side of the tree. He had his laptop with him and seemed oblivious to everything that was happening around him as he typed, except maybe for the bees. For some reason they flew around him and he would occasionally smile at them or lightly pat them and weird stuff like that. Eridan frowned at him, still wondering about what he should do. Sollux really wasn’t supposed to have those pills, and his dealer could get arrested. But if the police couldn’t track the dealer, they might get mad at Eridan and try to get back at him. It was much safer to not do anything.

“You don’t usually look so serious Eridan.” Feferi said. “What’s up?” Eridan sighed.

“My roommate.” he said. Feferi nodded.

“He’s weird?”

“Yeah.”

“I am not!” Sollux said, glaring at Eridan.

“Yes you are!”

“Oh, this is your roommate?” Feferi asked. Sollux nodded.

“Yeah, I’m Thollux.”

“Nice to meet you Sollux. I’m Feferi.” Feferi shook his hand and he nodded.

“Okay. Hi FF.”

“Don’t givve my girlfriend nicknames Sol!” Eridan snapped.

“There’th nothing wrong with it. And you jutht called me Thol.”

“So? That’s not a nickname!”

“Yeah it ith.”

“No it’s not!”

“He does that with everyone’s names actually.” Feferi interrupted quickly. “And I don’t mind the nickname. Eridan’s just being protective.” Eridan rolled his eyes and Feferi patted his shoulder.

Feferi and Eridan kept talking and eating while Sollux sat and coded or whatever on laptop. Eventually Feferi left because lunch was almost over. Eridan gave her a quick kiss before she ran back to her university. He smiled to himself and turned around and caught Sollux looking at him. Sollux gave him a look that Eridan understood: don’t tell her about the Mind Honey. He nodded to Sollux and picked up his lunch bag. Lunchtime ended and he walked back into the university. He wasn’t enjoying the school year so far. It had way too many complications.


	4. Chapter 4

Sollux sat on his bed and typed at his computer. Eridan wasn’t back from classes yet, so he had some peace and quiet. He liked it best when it was quiet while he was coding. Too much noise was always a distraction. And Sollux hated distractions.

Then Eridan walked in. Sollux sighed and glanced at him. He’d just taken his glasses off and was rubbing the bridge of his nose. He obviously had a headache. Sollux had to admit he looked nice without his glasses on. Of course, he had a girlfriend and probably hated Sollux. And Sollux didn’t even know him anyway. He shrugged and turned back to his computer.

“Don’t you evver do anythin’ except coding?!” Eridan asked. Sollux shook his head and kept typing. “You’re crazy, you knoww that?” Sollux shrugged and kept typing. Eridan sighed and sat down. Sollux watched him in his peripheral vision. He took his glasses off again and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Want an athpirin?” Sollux asked. Eridan looked at him in surprise.

“Sure.” he said. Sollux stopped typing and reached into his bag. He pulled out a small bottle of aspirin and tossed it to Eridan. He caught it and popped one in his mouth, then tossed it back to Sollux. Sollux put the bottle back in his bag and went back to coding. Eridan was quiet and put his glasses back on. Sollux was quiet for awhile.

“Why do you wear thothe?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“Your glatheth.”

“Because I need them, of course.” Sollux rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and they’re giving you a headache. Get a new prethcription or thomething.”

“I can’t afford it, so I’m stuck with these.” Sollux shrugged and went silent. He continued on typing and Eridan stayed silent. Sollux liked the monotonous sound of the tap-tap-tap-tap of his fingers hitting the keys. It was oddly soothing to listen to. Usually it was enough to distract him from his thoughts. This was one of those times when it did that.

But after a few hours the craving started. Sollux was having a hard time concentrating and he messed up a few times and had to backtrack. Eventually he sighed and turned off his laptop. He reached under his mattress and pulled the box of Mind Honey out. He opened it and let a pill fall onto the palm of his hand. He glanced at Eridan and saw he was on his phone. He wondered if Eridan found it disturbing to watch him take Mind Honey. He shrugged and popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed.

 

Eridan sat in the bathroom and talked to Feferi on the phone. Sollux had taken some Mind Honey and Eridan preferred to not see the effects a second time.

“Living with Meenah’s really nice. Of course, I still have to do chores and pay some rent, but that’s fine. I’d feel guilty if I wasn’t doing that anyway. Except she can be kind of lazy sometimes and she’ll forget to go grocery shopping.” Feferi said.

“Sounds better than Sol.” Eridan said. Feferi laughed.

“He doesn’t seem so bad. I think you’re just being stubborn.” Eridan rolled his eyes.

“Wwhatevver.” Eridan talked to Feferi for a while longer. Eventually Feferi decided they should both go to sleep.

“Goodnight.” she said.

“Goodnight.” Eridan replied. He hung up his phone and cracked open the bathroom door. Sollux was still awake and the Mind Honey was still working. But Eridan was tired so he walked over and lay down in bed. He took his glasses off and put them on the bedside table before turning over and closing his eyes.

 

Sollux snapped out of it sometime past midnight again. He remembered watching Eridan for awhile. In fact, he was still next to his bed. Eridan looked so much less…Eridan when he was asleep. Sollux sighed and stood up. He walked over to his bed and lay down. He could feel his left eye twitching again, and he didn’t bother trying to stop it. Instead he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Sollux stared blankly at his computer screen as he typed. He was in class, but he’d finished all his work so he was working on a new code. He was only half conscious of the things he was typing, and that was mostly because he was reading them as he typed. He kept typing at his fast pace, until he stopped suddenly. Something had clicked and he looked back at the code he’d been writing. There was nothing special about it. To anyone else, even someone who did coding, it wasn’t very interesting. But Sollux noticed a fact only he could care about. There were multiple spots in the code where two letters were next to each other: aa.

It was always those two. Sometimes it would be like AA, or aa or Aa/aA. But it was always those two letters. Always. To anyone else, that would just be like Oh, huh. Weird. But not to Sollux. AA. That was his nickname for Aradia.

He shut his eyes to block the letters out but it was too late. In the darkness of his eyes closed white letters began to appear: aaAAaaAAaaAA. Over and over and over again. They kept appearing and Sollux couldn’t block them out. He scrunched his eyes closed even tighter and covered them with his hands. But the letters kept appearing. And he was starting to hear her voice, calling to him.

“Shut up!” he yelled, banging his head on his desk. “Grrrr!”

“Sollux?” Sollux opened his eyes and looked up. The teacher was looking down at him worriedly. He could see her worry in her bright pink eyes. She was fiddling with some of her white-blond hair, which curled up at the ends. “Are you alright? Do you need to go to the nurse’s office?” Sollux hesitated before nodding.

“Yeah. Thorry Ms. Lalonde.” he said. Ms. Lalonde smiled and shook her head.

“It’s fine. We all have our off days.” Sollux nodded and packed his laptop up, not bothering to turn it off. He walked out of the classroom and felt the eyes of every student in there follow him. He ignored them and kept walking. But he wasn’t going to the nurse’s office like he said. He was going back to his dorm. He needed Mind Honey.

 

Eridan only vaguely noticed Sollux’s absence during lunch. Of course, this meant he and Feferi had to swat the bees away and eventually they just went and ate somewhere else. But he really didn’t care that Sollux wasn’t there. Okay, he cared a bit. But mostly because he couldn’t help but think about Sollux’s box of Mind Honey, hidden under his mattress.

“University is turning out alright.” Feferi said. Eridan nodded and kept eating his sandwich. “I mean, it’s not like the classes are easy, but this week’s been better than I thought it would be.”

“Yeah.” Eridan agreed. They’d already had one week of university. And Eridan still didn’t know what to do about Sollux’s Mind Honey.

“I met some nice people too. And I found out that down this one street you can find a little spot where stray cats gather. There’s always this nice girl there who feeds them. Her name’s Nepeta. She says she can’t take the cats home because her brother’s allergic to them.”

“Wwhy don’t you take one home?”

“I asked Meenah about it, but she said no way because they’ll eat her pet fish.” Feferi sighed and slurped her juice. “It’s too bad. They’re really cute.”

“Don’t you prefer pet fish to pet cats though?”

“Whale, yeah. But these are abandoned cats, so that’s a different story.” Eridan shrugged and threw out his sandwich crusts. He drank his juice and threw out the rest of his garbage. Feferi stood up and stretched. “I should go now.” Eridan nodded and stood up. They kissed and she smiled at him. “Bye!”

“Bye.” Eridan watched Feferi run off down the street. He sighed and picked up his lunch bag. He glanced at the dorm briefly and thought he saw Sollux through one of the windows. But he was pretty sure he was imagining it.

 

Sollux sat in his dorm, staring at the box of Mind Honey. For some reason, he’d been hesitating. Was it because he was taking them in the middle of the day, and not at night? Maybe. Sollux shut his eyes and took a deep breath. But the letters instantly started appearing, and he could hear Aradia’s voice starting out as a quiet whisper.

“No! Shut up!” he yelled. He dropped the box on the floor and plugged his ears. But her voice kept getting louder. Sollux yelled and banged his head on the floor. He felt the box dig into his forehead and opened his eyes. He snatched it up with shaking hands and quickly opened it. He was done hesitating. He needed Mind Honey.


	6. Chapter 6

Eridan sighed as he walked down the hall. Classes were over for the day for him, and he had lots of homework to do. He carried his books carefully as he walked outside and to the dorm. He passed by the other students as he did. They were laughing and chatting with friends. Eridan didn’t feel jealous though. Why be jealous because he didn’t have any friends at the university if he had a girlfriend? Even if she went to a different university, they still saw each other every day. Eridan smiled to himself as he walked inside and up the stairs.

He walked down the hall to his dorm. He opened the door and kept an eye on the books he was carrying as he walked in. He put them on his bed with a sigh and looked up. …What the hell was Sollux doing?!

Sollux was lying across his bed with his head hanging near the floor. His 3D glasses had come off, revealing his two mismatched eyes. Eridan could tell from the way his left eye was twitching and how he stared blankly at the floor that Sollux had taken Mind Honey. But it was much earlier than when he usually took it. For the past week he’d always taken it later in the evening. Then Eridan saw the box of Mind Honey, which was lying on the floor near Sollux’s head. The last time Eridan had seen it, it had still been practically full. Now it was half empty.

He walked over and snatched the box up. He stared at it in disbelief. “Sol, wwhat the hell are you doin’?!” he exclaimed. He held up the box and shook it in front of his face. “Did you seriously just take that many?! Wwhat the hell is wwrong wwith you?!”

Sollux snatched the Mind Honey out of Eridan’s grip and sat up, holding it to his chest. He muttered to himself and his eyes spun in circles. He looked insane. Eridan could only stare at him. He couldn’t leave this guy like this. Even though he didn’t really know him, Eridan wanted to help Sollux. He sighed and sat up.

“Okay, wwe havve to fix this Sol.” he said. Sollux seemed to notice him for the first time and stared at him, his eyes wide. Eridan sighed and stood up. “C’mon, you can’t keep doin’ this. Givve me those.” 

Eridan reached for the Mind Honey but Sollux tossed it under his bed. Eridan was about to bend down and get it when Sollux tackled him to the ground. Eridan gasped and tried to get up but Sollux had him pinned down. Eridan grabbed at his arms in the hopes of stopping him from attacking him. Surprisingly, he didn’t attack Eridan. He kissed him.

Eridan gasped and froze up. Sollux cupped his face with his hands and didn’t stop kissing him. It took Eridan about ten seconds to react. Then he quickly shoved Sollux’s face away from his. Sollux started grabbing at his shirt and Eridan grabbed his wrists and desperately tried to hold him still.

Eridan was sure that in normal circumstances, Sollux would have overcome him since he’s bigger and obviously stronger than him. But Sollux was drugged and crazed, so Eridan was able to get up and pin Sollux’s arms behind his back without too much trouble. Sollux leaned his head back and seemed to try to bite Eridan. Eridan kept him as far away as possible from him. Sollux struggled in his grip and Eridan eventually had to pin him on the ground. He wasn’t sure how long Mind Honey lasted for Sollux when he just took one pill, but considering how many he’d just taken Eridan assumed it would probably take maybe a day for Sollux to stop. What the hell was he supposed to do?

Luckily Sollux eventually passed out by hitting his head on the floor repeatedly. Eridan breathed a sigh of relief and let him go. He picked him up and put him in his bed. Then he lay down in his own bed and turned away from Sollux. He really wanted Sollux to break his addiction. He didn’t want to have to go through that ever again.


	7. Chapter 7

Sollux couldn’t remember what had happened. He knew he’d taken some Mind Honey, maybe a few more than one, but he had no memory of what he’d done. That had never happened before. He was just barely awake enough to see what was around him. He was on his side and Eridan was eating breakfast in bed. Sollux blinked a few times, waiting to fully wake up. Normally when he had Mind Honey it took him a minute to wake up the next day. But for some reason it was taking much longer that time. It worried Sollux, but he couldn’t do anything.

After about maybe ten minutes Sollux was able to sit up. He rubbed his eyes a bunch of times and yawned loudly. He brought his hands down and blinked. Eridan was glaring at him and seemed to be making a point of staying as far away from him as possible without falling off his bed.

“What happened?” Sollux asked. Eridan looked surprised, then scowled at him.

“You’vve got to be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.” he said.

“What?” Sollux glanced around, then noticed his box of Mind Honey on the floor. He gasped and held it up. It was half empty.

“You had a lot of them.” Eridan said. Sollux stared at the box in shock. He thought he’d just taken a few, maybe three or four. Not that many!

“Did I…do anything?” Sollux asked, a nervous feeling growing in him. Eridan made a point of sighing loudly.

“No, you didn’t do a fuckin’ thing!” he said sarcastically.

“Oh, shit. What did I do?”

“You fuckin’ forced yourself on me!” Sollux’s jaw dropped and he stared at Eridan in surprise.

“…Oh. Shit uh…thorry, I totally didn’t mean to…” he stammered. Eridan sighed again.

“Wwe are so finding a wway to break your addiction.” he said.

“I can’t!” Sollux yelled. Eridan looked at him in surprise. “I’ve been taking them for too long, I practically need them to live now! I can’t thtop taking them!”

“Yes you can you fuckin’-”

“NO I CAN’T!” Sollux screamed. He put the Mind Honey back under his covers, stealthily taking a few pills out and putting them in his pocket before stomping into the bathroom and locking the door. He sat down on the floor with a sigh. He took the pills out of his pocket and stared at them. They looked so innocent, sitting in the palm of his hand. Just a few small pills, nothing wrong with that, right? But they messed Sollux up so bad sometimes. But it was like he said: he couldn’t stop. He could never stop. As much as he hated it; he kept taking the pills. He hated himself as he picked up one of the pills sitting on the palm of his hand. He held it to his lips and closed his eyes. He slipped it into his mouth and swallowed it.

 

Eridan had no idea what to do. Sollux had locked himself in the bathroom and Eridan was pretty sure he’d taken some pills with him. Should he throw the Mind Honey away? No, Sollux could always get more from his dealer. Who was his dealer anyway? Maybe if Eridan found out, he could report them to the police. But he’d need proof, and he wasn’t exactly Sherlock Holmes.

Eridan sighed and decided to focus on the homework he had yet to do. He sat at his desk and pulled out his science textbook and started on the homework. He spent a few hours on it before he took a break. He had a class in half an hour. He combed his hair and sat on his bed. Sollux was still in the bathroom. Eridan sighed and closed his eyes.

Immediately when he did the memory of Sollux kissing him popped into his head. Eridan smacked his forehead and tried to erase the memory from his brain. But it was like his brother; refusing to leave him alone and annoying the hell out of him while it was there. Eridan groaned and lay back down. He smacked his forehead a few more times but that just made his head hurt.

Eventually he got up and went to class. On the way there he tried to think of what to do about Sollux. Because there was no way he was leaving him the way he was.


	8. Chapter 8

Days passed, and Eridan could see he was making no progress in helping Sollux with his addiction. Sollux had started taking more Mind Honey and Eridan was locking himself in the bathroom every night to avoid him. He tried to get rid of the Mind Honey but he couldn’t get it while Sollux was asleep because he couldn’t lift the mattress. And the only time when Sollux wasn’t asleep was when he was at class, and Eridan was always at class as well at that time, or when he was doing homework, coding or taking Mind Honey. And when Eridan tried in all those moments Sollux always fought him and in the end was able to stop him.

One day Eridan saw Sollux’s dealer. She had a hood up over her face but Eridan could see her long black hair and caught a glimpse of a pirate eye-patch on her left eye. She had dark blue lipstick on and Eridan found her selling Sollux some Mind Honey behind the dorm, next to the garbage cans.

“Wwho is she?” Eridan asked Sollux when they were back in their dorm. Sollux didn’t answer him. He just shrugged and swallowed some pills.

Eridan started to lose hope. He couldn’t catch Sollux’s dealer or get the pills away from Sollux, who seemed convinced that he couldn’t survive without the pills. After a month passed with no progress Eridan was getting really stressed out and his grades were beginning to drop as a result.

“What’s wrong Eridan?” Feferi asked one day, during lunch. “You seem stressed out about somefin.”

“I’m fine Fef.” Eridan said. He smiled in the hopes that she would believe him. “Really, you’re just imaginin’ things.”

There was another thing that was stressing Eridan out: the kiss. The time Sollux had kissed him. It had been plaguing his mind the whole month and he just couldn’t get rid of it. It drove him nuts and made it hard to sleep at night. One day when he and Sollux were changing Eridan had realized he looked pretty hot without his shirt on. Man, he hadn’t been able to look at Sollux for the rest of the day.

Eridan was so confused. He couldn’t be gay; he was dating Feferi. So then maybe he was bi. But he loved Feferi, not Sollux. He was so totally, utterly confused. He would get dreams about Sollux he wished he couldn’t remember when he woke up. But they were just dreams, right?

It honestly hurt Eridan every time he saw Sollux take the Mind Honey pills. No matter what he did, Sollux didn’t want to get over the addiction. Eridan couldn’t do anything but watch his roommate slowly spiral downwards.

Eventually he broke his promise and told Feferi about it. He just couldn’t take dealing with it on his own anymore.

“That’s awful!” Feferi exclaimed. Eridan nodded, staring at the ground. Even though he broke his promise, he felt so glad that he told Feferi. And it probably doesn’t count as a promise if you’re being threatened by someone with a knife.

“I don’t knoww wwhat to do anymore.” Eridan said. “I-I’m afraid about wwhat wwill happen to him.” Feferi nodded and patted his shoulder, giving him her lovely comforting smile.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help. I promise.”

Later that day Eridan was in his dorm with Sollux. Sollux was typing a code on his laptop and Eridan was reading his science textbook. He was supposed to be studying for a test, but really he was waiting. After awhile Sollux put his laptop down and stood up. He grabbed his box of Mind Honey and walked into the bathroom, glancing at Eridan as he did. He would never leave Eridan alone in their dorm anymore without taking the Mind Honey out of the room first.

Eridan waited another minute. Then there was a knock at the door. He got up and opened it and Feferi stepped into the room.

“Howw did you evven manage to sneak in?” Eridan whispered.

“Never mind. Where’s Sollux?” Feferi asked.

“Bathroom.” So Eridan and Feferi waited patiently for Sollux to come out of the bathroom. When he did he reached into his pants’ pocket for the Mind Honey, then stopped when he saw Feferi.

“What’th she doing here?” he asked. Feferi walked up to Sollux and surprised both Sollux and Eridan by slapping him. Sollux was so surprised he actually fell down. “What wath that for?!” he exclaimed. Feferi held out her hand.

“Eridan told me about the pills.” she said. Sollux glared at Eridan and he flinched. “I’m not going to turn you in, and I’m not upset that they’re illegal. I’m upset that you’re still taking them. Eridan has been trying to break your addiction for a month, and you’ve done absolutely nothing! So I’m putting my foot down and stepping in to help you. Give them to me.” Sollux hesitated and Feferi glared at him.   
“Give them to me! Now!” Sollux reached into his pocket and pulled out the box. He handed it to Feferi. She walked into the washroom and Eridan watched her flush it down the toilet. He couldn’t help but sigh when she did. It was like the presence of them was part of what stressed him out.

“Thanks Fef.” he said. Feferi smiled.

“You’re welcome.” She turned to Sollux, who looked both horrified and torn. “Now, please try to refrain from buying more pills. Eridan will be keeping an eye on you, and so will I, when I can. Addiction is never a good thing, and despite what you think you can live without the pills. Okay?” Sollux hesitated before nodding. Feferi’s expression softened and she smiled. “I’m sorry about how sudden this was. You two should do your homework. I’ll be going now.” She walked to the door and opened it. She glanced back at Eridan and Sollux and smiled.   
“Bye.”

“Bye.” Eridan said. Feferi smiled and shut the door. Eridan smiled to himself and turned back to Sollux. He froze when he saw him.   
“Wwhere’d you get those?!” he exclaimed in a loud whisper. Sitting in the palm of Sollux’s hand were seven Mind Honey pills.

“They were in my pocket.” Sollux said. “I’m not an idiot Eridan; I could tell you were up to thomething.” Eridan glared at him.

“You little--!” Sollux shrugged and popped six of them in his mouth. “Fuck! Don’t swwalloww those!” Eridan ran up to him but Sollux smiled and swallowed. Eridan glared at him. He’d finally come close to stopping his addiction altogether, and he had to do that! Without thinking Eridan punched Sollux in the face. Sollux flew back a bit and his 3D glasses fell off his face but he managed not to drop his last pill. He stood up and looked at Eridan and Eridan could see the Mind Honey was already taking effect.

Eridan moved to get to the bathroom so he could lock himself in there for some hours, but Sollux acted before he could even touch the doorknob. He knocked Eridan down and put the last pill in his mouth. Eridan struggled but Sollux wasn’t as drugged as he’d been the last time that had happened. So he managed to pin Eridan down and land a kiss on him. But he did one thing different than the last time. He hadn’t swallowed the last pill. And he got that last pill into Eridan’s mouth.

Eridan didn’t mean to, didn’t want to, but he did. He swallowed it.


	9. Chapter 9

Eridan remembered what happened when he woke up the next day. He doubted Sollux did that much, considering he’d taken six Mind Honey pills. But Eridan remembered what he’d done. Or, more accurately, what he’d let Sollux do. And he was so pissed off about it.

He woke up at six in the morning. He was in a terrible mood and he had a terrible headache. Sollux was lying next to him and the sheets were tangled around them. Their shirts were god-knows-where in the tangled mess of blankets and Sollux was still on top of Eridan.

Eridan lifted Sollux off him slightly, then punched him in the face. Sollux woke up instantly, holding his bleeding nose. While he woke up Eridan looked through the blankets, eventually finding his shirt. Sollux stared around them while Eridan put it on.

“…What happened exactly?” Sollux asked. “I don’t remember a whole lot…” He looked at Eridan, who glared venomously at him. “Fuck, what did I do?”

“You. Made. Me. Take. One. Of. Those. Fucking. Pills!” Eridan snapped. Sollux paled slightly.

“I-I’m thorry, I didn’t mean to-” Eridan glared at him and stood up.

 

“The only good thing is you don’t havve anymore.”

“He does now.” Eridan and Sollux looked up to see Sollux’s dealer sitting in the window. Her blue-lipstick covered mouth smiled and she held up a box of Mind Honey pills. “I’ll even give you a discount, just this once.”

“No you don’t!” Eridan yelled, grabbing at her. In a flash she kicked him in the gut and pinned him to the ground. He struggled but it was useless; she was stronger than him.

“You can pay twenty bucks less than you normally would.” she said to Sollux. Eridan could only watch in horror and disgust as Sollux took out his money and bought the box. His dealer grinned with pleasure and got off Eridan. “Thanks. See you soon.” She jumped out the window, which Eridan slammed shut. He turned and glared at Sollux.

“Flush those dowwn the toilet. Noww.” Sollux shook his head and put them under his mattress. Eridan’s glare darkened. “Sol-”

“No!” Sollux snapped, glaring at Eridan. “I can’t, okay? I jutht can’t.” He climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over his head.

“At least go to class.” Sollux shook his head.

“I have a headache.” he said. Eridan sighed. He did too. So he called in sick for both of them and lay down in his own bed. It was cold and Eridan suddenly realized that he liked having someone next to him to keep it warm. But he had Feferi for that. But Eridan had a weird feeling inside him. He took some deep breaths and closed his eyes. He debated asking Sollux for an aspirin, but decided he was still too angry with him. So he did his best to ignore his headache and go to sleep.

 

Feferi was worried. It was lunchtime and she couldn’t find Eridan. He and Sollux weren’t under the dying willow tree like usual and she couldn’t find him anywhere else on the campus. After what had happened the night before, it was really worrying her. What if something had happened? Was Eridan alright? And Sollux? Were they okay? Feferi got more and more worried as she thought about it. In the end she decided to call Eridan and check up on him.

 

Eridan jolted awake. He could feel himself blushing and his eyes were wide. What the hell had that dream been?! He glanced at Sollux, who was still asleep. There was no way…there was no way he could be…no, that was just another crazy dream. It was probably because of the Mind Honey. God, Eridan couldn’t see why Sollux was addicted to that stuff.

For a second Eridan wasn’t sure what had woken him up. Then he realized his phone was ringing. He pulled it out of his pants’ pocket and answered.

“Hello?”

“Eridan! Where are you? Is everything okay?” Feferi asked. Eridan glanced at Sollux. He was still asleep. “Eridan? Are you still there?”

“Yeah…yeah I’m here. I just havve a headache, that’s all. So I’m takin’ the day off.”

“What about Sollux? How is he?”

“He’s got a headache too. Probably from the…yeah.”

“I sea. Well, you should probably have somefin to eat soon.”

“Yeah, I’ll get something from the vvending machines later.”

“Okay. If you’re okay then I’m gonna eat my lunch.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.” Eridan hung up and put his phone down. He stood up and looked around. His gaze fell upon Sollux’s new box of Mind Honey; dropped and forgotten on the floor. He scooped it up and walked into the bathroom. He lifted up the lid of the toilet and crouched down, holding the box over the toilet. All he had to do was drop it. It was so simple. So why couldn’t he open his hand? In the end…that was simple too. Eridan couldn’t remember what the Mind Honey made him feel like. And he realized why Sollux was so addicted to it: curiosity. Mind Honey was only part of the drug; curiosity was the main thing. That’s what Sollux was really addicted to: the curiosity. And as Eridan stared at the box, he could feel it too.

The box was snatched out of his hands. Eridan turned around and found Sollux crouched next to him. Wordlessly, Sollux pocketed the Mind Honey pills. Eridan stared at him with his mouth opened and Sollux looked at him apologetically. He reached forward and pulled Eridan into a hug.

“I’m thorry.” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you take them. I’m thorry.” Eridan didn’t know how to react. He was painfully aware of how close he was to Sollux, of the fact that Sollux hadn’t put his shirt on yet and of how close their faces were. He could feel his face warm up and quickly stood up, breaking out of Sollux’s hug.

“It’s fine.” he said quickly. “I…I’ll be fine.” Sollux nodded and they walked out of the bathroom. Eridan lay back down in bed, as did Sollux. But first he put the Mind Honey under his mattress. Eridan watched him lie down and pull the covers over his head. And only one thought filled Eridan’s mind:

He was in love with Sollux.


	10. Chapter 10

When Eridan woke up the next day his headache was gone. Sollux was still asleep so Eridan got dressed and ate breakfast as quietly as possible. When Sollux did wake up Eridan was about to go to class.

“Are you goin’ to class today?” he asked. Sollux ignored him and reached under his mattress. He took out the box of Mind Honey and poured some pills onto his hand. “It’s the fuckin’ mornin’! Wwhy the hell are you havvin’ those noww?!” Sollux shrugged and swallowed them. Eridan sighed and walked out of their dorm to class.

Eridan’s classmates filled him in on what he’d missed the last day and a few helped him with the homework during lunch. Feferi sat with him during lunch and talked to him when he was done most of the homework.

“I met Meenah’s girlfriend Aranea yesterday.” she said.

“Mm.”

“She’s reely nice. She likes to tell stories a lot, and according to Meenah they’re always really long and a drag.”

“Mm.”

“I’d like to hear one of her stories before I judge though.”

“Mm.”

“How’s Sollux? Is he still…?” Eridan hesitated before nodding.

“…Yeah. He’s still pullin’ himself together.” Feferi nodded.

“I sea. I hope he’ll be okay soon. But at least he’s doing better, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Once he’s all better, we should all go out to supper or something.”

“Yeah.” Feferi kept talking but Eridan wasn’t really paying attention. He was too busy thinking about Sollux.

“Eridan, are you okay?” Feferi asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“You’re being very quiet. Is somefin wrong?” Eridan hesitated.

“Um…” Feferi looked at him suspiciously.

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“I think I might be gay.” Eridan blurted out. He smacked his hand over his mouth once he said that. He hadn’t wanted to tell her that!   
“Fuck…I mean…” To his surprise, Feferi started laughing.

“S-sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. That was just reely surprising.” Eridan stared at her as she giggled. “Sorry, sorry. Don’t worry, I’m not upset.”

“You’re not?” Feferi smiled and shook her head.

“Nope. Honestly, for awhile I’ve been thinking we’d make better friends.”

“That’s not wwhat…”

“Eridan, you’ve been a bit more distant around me lately. Face it, it just wasn’t meant to be.” Eridan sighed and nodded.

“Sorry Fef.” Feferi smiled and patted his shoulder.

“Don’t apologize. I think you and Sollux make a great couple.” Eridan blushed and stared at her in surprise.

“I nevver said--”

“Yeah, but you’ve never cared about anyone other than me enough to do something like try to break an addiction.” Eridan sighed again and nodded. “Don’t look so gloomy. I bet you’ll be an amazing couple. After all, he’s getting better now. You should feel happy.”

“…Yeah.”

When Eridan got back to his dorm Sollux was lying in bed, apparently asleep. Eridan put his books on his bed and shut the door. He might have shut it too loudly because Sollux woke up. Actually, he’d slammed the door. But he’d just broken up with his girlfriend.

“I wath athleep.” Sollux grumbled.

“So wwhat?!” Eridan snapped. Sollux grumbled and reached under his mattress. He pulled out the box of Mind Honey and Eridan glared at him. “You already took some earlier! Don’t havve more noww!” Sollux ignored him and popped the pills in his mouth. Eridan walked over to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Wwhat the hell! Listen to me! You havve to stop it!” Sollux glared at him and shoved him away.

“Thtop it!” he yelled. “I need thethe to keep going! Tho don’t try to make me thtop!” Eridan watched him swallow the pills and scowled at him.

“Fine.” He grabbed his homework and locked himself in the bathroom. He set his books down and sat on the floor. He sighed and leaned back, his head hitting the door. He could hear Sollux trying to get in. Eridan knew what would happen if he stepped out of the bathroom, and he honestly wanted to. But Sollux was drugged, so it wasn’t how he really felt. In the end, all he cared about were the Mind Honey pills. Nothing was more important to him. Eridan was really just nothing to him; an obstacle that was trying to take away what he cared for most. It wasn’t Eridan. It was never Eridan. It was always the pills. Those stupid, god-awful fucking pills!

Angry tears prickled his eyes and Eridan sobbed quietly. He wrapped his arms around his legs and pulled his knees up to his chest. He pulled his scarf up over his face and sobbed. He could hear Sollux banging on the door and scratching at it. Eridan couldn’t take it. Sollux was taking more pills than he had at first, and Eridan could tell it would probably kill him. And he couldn’t do anything. Sollux wouldn’t let him. So Eridan sat, curled up in the bathroom, sobbing his eyes out. His homework lay next to him; unfinished and forgotten.


	11. Chapter 11

“Eridan, is everything alright?” Eridan sighed and stared at the school counselor. She had short white-blond hair and purple eyes. Her black lipstick-covered lips were pursed together and Eridan could tell she’d gone through something like this plenty of times. “For the past week your grades have dropped.”

“I’m fine.” Eridan lied. He rubbed the scars on his wrist unconsciously. The counselor sighed.

“How about your roommate, Sollux? He hasn’t been attending class.”

“He’s just got a fevver.” Eridan lied. “He’s fine.” The counselor nodded like she didn’t believe him. She clasped her hands together and leaned forward.

“Eridan, is something bothering you?” she asked. “You’re a very smart man, so it’s unusual for your grades to drop suddenly.”

“Evverythin’ is fine.” he lied.

“Then why have your grades dropped?” Eridan shrugged and rubbed his wrist harder. “Eridan, it’s not good to bottle things up.”

“I’m not!” Eridan yelled, standing up and knocking over the chair he’d been sitting in. The counselor sighed and shook her head.

“Eridan-”

“Don’t act like you knoww evverythin’ about me!” Eridan stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked back to his dorm.

When he got there Sollux was asleep. It was always like that. Either he was asleep or he was taking Mind Honey. He never looked or spoke to Eridan. He just ignored him. Eridan glared at him and slammed the door, waking him up.

“You piethe of shit.” Sollux grumbled. Eridan scowled at him and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door and sitting on the floor. He opened the cupboard under the sink and reached into the back. He pulled out the box he’d found, which contained a few spare knives that clearly belonged to Sollux. Eridan took out a random one and put the box back. He rolled up his sleeves and stared at his wrists. The cuts he’d made were random and irregular, and as a result his left wrist had more scars than his right.

Eridan could hear Sollux lift up his mattress. His bed always creaked loudly when he did. Eridan bit his lip and felt tears start to form in his eyes. He gritted his teeth and slashed at his wrists. Blood ran down his arms and Eridan held them over the toilet so that he wouldn’t get blood on the floor or his clothes. Tears ran down his cheeks and he cut his wrists again. He could hear Sollux starting to kick things around. He’d taken Mind Honey again.

Eridan shut his eyes and tried to block out the world around him. But he could hear Sollux too well, too clearly. He was so loud. Eridan sobbed and slashed randomly at his wrists, not bothering to open his eyes. By some miracle he didn’t accidentally cut his hands. He opened his eyes and stared at the cuts he’d made. Each wrist now almost had the same number of scars. The blood was dripping down into the toilet water and Eridan stared at it; mesmerized. He almost didn’t notice the bathroom door open.

He turned to see Sollux standing in the doorway. And he realized he’d forgotten to lock the door. He stood up but Sollux grabbed him and pinned him on the floor. Eridan struggled but he was trying not to get blood on Sollux at the same time. Sollux kissed him again and Eridan felt a pill slide into his mouth. He couldn’t help but swallow it. And he let his lust for Sollux take over, all the while making sure he didn’t get blood on his clothes.

 

When Sollux woke up it took him a second to realize where he was. He was lying down on top of Eridan and their shirts were off. Oh fuck, he’d done something to Eridan again. He sat up quickly and tried to remember what had happened. He’d taken the Mind Honey and Eridan had shut himself in the bathroom again. But didn’t he always lock the door? Sollux looked down at Eridan worriedly, then froze when he saw his wrists.

Deep scars crisscrossed his wrists in a jumbled mess. Quite a few were recent and some were still bleeding. Sollux gently picked up Eridan’s right wrist and held it up. Blood dripped off it onto the floor. Sollux looked around and saw one of his spare knives by the toilet, covered in blood. He grabbed Eridan’s shoulder and shook it.

“Eridan! Eridan!” Eridan groaned and opened his eyes. He glared at Sollux and sat up.

“Wwhy you-” Eridan froze when he saw Sollux was holding his wrist. He yanked it out of his grip and held his wrists to his chest.

“Eridan, why are you-”

“Shut up!” Eridan yelled, jumping up. “Shut up! It’s all your fault!”

“What did I do?!” Tears had started running down Eridan’s face. He grabbed Sollux and shoved him out of the bathroom. He slammed the door and Sollux grabbed the handle; but Eridan had locked it. “Eridan! Eridan!”

“SHUT UP!” Sollux could hear him crying.

“I-I’m thorry! I…are you upthet becauthe I made you take Mind Honey? I’m thorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Shut up!” Sollux stared at the door for a few seconds. What should he do? What should he do?! Then Sollux got an idea. He ran out of the dorm and down the street. He’d go get Feferi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, let me just say that (for some reason) at the time I wrote this fanfic, it hadn't really occurred to me that someone could die or pass out from blood loss from cutting their wrists, so that's why that didn't happen to Eridan. Just so you don't get confused.


	12. Chapter 12

Feferi sat in class, taking notes with her many classmates. The teacher’s voice could be hard to hear at the back of the classroom, but Feferi managed. The lesson was suddenly interrupted by an announcement over the intercom.

“Feferi Peixes, you have a visitor in the office. Feferi Peixes, report to the office now please, you have a visitor.” Feferi frowned. Who could it be? If it was Meenah, then that meant something bad had happened. Feferi grabbed her books and put them in her bag. She slung her bag over her shoulder and walked out of the classroom.

The office was downstairs on the other side of the school, so Feferi had to walk a bit. When she got there she saw that her visitor wasn’t Meenah; it was Sollux.

“Hi Sollux! How are you feeling?” Feferi asked. Sollux turned to face her and she saw the expression on his face. “What happened?!”

“Eridan…he…” Sollux took a deep breath and whispered in her ear. “He…he’th been cutting himthelf.” Feferi gasped. “I…found him in the bathroom and hith writhtth were all bloody and he thaid it wath my fault and…I don’t know what to do!”

“Let’s go talk to him.” Feferi said. “Now.” She ran out of the office with Sollux behind her. She didn’t bother putting her bag in her locker when they passed it. All she cared about was getting to Eridan and making sure he was okay.

 

Eridan stared at his wrists, bleeding over the open toilet. Sollux had seen them. He’d think he was weak. He was weak. Sollux didn’t care for him to begin with. Just the pills. That’s what he cared for. Maybe he should just settle for having Sollux when he took the Mind Honey. Even if it wasn’t how Sollux really felt, it was the closest he’d ever get. Maybe he shouldn’t try to break his addiction. Then he’d still be able to be with Sollux for a few hours or so every day.

Eridan felt more tears run down his cheeks and he slashed at his wrists. That was a stupid thought. It was a selfish thought. But that’s what he was: selfish. He choked back sobs and squeezed his eyes shut. He clenched his teeth together and tried to breathe calmly. But he couldn’t. He kept seeing Sollux’s face when he saw his wrists. Eridan sobbed and clutched the rim of the toilet. It was tearing him apart. Everything was tearing him apart and he couldn’t take it anymore.

So he could just end it all. No one would care, right? Sollux didn’t care about him and his brother had been waiting for years for Eridan to get out of his life. No one would cry if he just died. And Sollux would probably be much happier with him gone. Or maybe he wouldn’t even notice. That was much more likely.

Eridan fumbled with the knife and dropped it. It clattered across the floor and onto his shirt, which he hadn’t bothered to put on. He picked it back up with shaking hands and stared at it. The blade was covered in blood and even some of the handle was. Eridan stared at it for a few seconds. Then he gripped it in both hands and held it to his throat. One clean cut is all it would take.

“Eridan?!” Eridan froze. That was Feferi’s voice. He heard Feferi knock loudly on the bathroom door. “Eridan, open the door! Eridan!”

“Go awway!” Eridan yelled, kicking the door. He was crying even harder now and sobbed into his scarf.

“Eridan, FF jutht wantth to help.” Sollux said. Eridan glared at the door.

“Shut up! It’s all your fault!” he screeched. His voice cracked on the word ‘your’. He sobbed and curled up into a ball.

“Eridan! Please, talk to me.” Feferi said.

“Shut up.”

“Eridan, let me in or I’ll kick the door down!”

“Shut UP Fef!” Eridan covered his ears and crawled into the small shower stall, shutting the glass door behind him. He cut blindly at his wrists, cutting along his right hand at the same time. He heard the click of a door being unlocked and the bathroom door opened. He turned his back to Feferi and Sollux as they walked in. Feferi knelt next to Eridan and spun him around. He glared at her, tears still running down his face. Feferi stared at his wrists with a look of pity and horror. Eridan scowled at her and pulled his arms away, tucking them against his chest. Feferi reached out to hug him but he pushed her away.

“Eridan, what’s wrong?” she asked, lightly resting a hand on his shoulder. Eridan sobbed and stared at the ground. “Please talk to me. I want to help.” Eridan took a few shaky breaths before he answered.

“S-Sol is…he’s still takin’ the pills.” Feferi tensed and Eridan didn’t look up at her or Sollux. “A-after you left, he…he’d kept some in his pockets. He swallowed all but one and he…he made me take the other. Then his dealer sold him some more and he’s been takin’ more of them more often and he just took a bunch and made me take another again and he won’t stop takin’ them and…”

“I can’t jutht thtop!” Sollux exclaimed. “I-”

“You’vve just ignored me!” Eridan yelled, glaring at him. “All you care about are those fuckin’ pills! You havven’t said anythin’ to me except call me a piece of shit or an idiot! I kept tryin’ to help you and you just ignored me and…I can’t fuckin’ take it anymore!” Eridan was sobbing uncontrollably now. He reached for the knife but Feferi snatched it away.

“Sollux, where are the pills?” she asked. Eridan saw Sollux hesitate.

“If they’re not on the floor then they’re under his mattress.” Eridan said. Feferi stood up and walked out of the bathroom. She came back carrying the box of Mind Honey pills. She carried them over to the toilet and held them over it. Sollux instantly grabbed her wrist and Eridan saw his hands were shaking. Eridan was staring at the box of pills, and as much as he didn’t want to, he felt the urge to snatch them away from Feferi.

“FF…give them to me.” Sollux said. “Pleathe.” Feferi glared at him and kicked him in the gut. Sollux let go of her wrist and doubled over. She dropped the box in the toilet and flushed it down the drain. Eridan could only watch, feeling disgusted with himself for wanting to grab it and stop it from disappearing. Feferi knelt in front of Eridan at gently grabbed his hands.

“Let’s wash your wrists.” she said. She pulled him up and over to the sink. She held his wrists under the tap and turned on the water. It was cold and it made Eridan shiver. Feferi reached into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a first-aid kit. She took bandages out and when Eridan’s wrists were as clean as they could wash them she wrapped the bandages around them. Then she pulled both Eridan and Sollux into a hug. Eridan didn’t hesitate to hug her back. He cried into her shoulder and she stroked the back of his head.

After awhile she let them both go and gave them a sad smile.

“How are you feeling Eridan?” she asked.

“…Tired.” Eridan replied. Feferi nodded.

“Go get some sleep. You too Sollux.” Eridan nodded and trudged back to his bed. He lay down without bothering to pull the covers over   
him. Feferi did that for him. She smiled and smoothed his hair. Eridan couldn’t find the energy or the emotions to smile back. Instead he closed his eyes and fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

When Eridan woke up he didn’t do anything. He just lay there with his face in his pillow. He could feel where the tears had dried in the fabric around his eyes. He could hear the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall. Tick-tock-tick-tock. Eridan couldn’t find the strength or the will to move, so he just lay there. He drifted half asleep sometimes but would always snap awake a moment later. It was exhausting. Eventually Eridan convinced himself to turn his head to the side and look around.

Sollux was sitting on the floor between their beds. His glasses were off and his head was bent down between his knees. Eridan realized how thin he was; he must not have been eating the whole week. He glanced up at Eridan and looked both startled and relieved to see him awake. He turned to face Eridan and glanced at the floor.

“I’m thorry.” he said. “You’re right, it’th all my fault. I didn’t realize I wath hurting you. I’m thorry. Pleathe forgive me.” Eridan stared at him and felt tears build up in his eyes. He tried to blink them away but just made it worse. Sollux looked up and saw he was crying. He lifted him up and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. Eridan hugged him back and sobbed into his shoulder. Sollux stroked the back of his neck to comfort him.

“…I’m not mad.” Eridan said. He sniffled and wiped the tears away from his eyes as best he could. “I’m not. I…I forgivve you.” Sollux looked relieved and smiled. Eridan smiled back. “I lovve you.” After a second of silence Sollux smiled.

“I know.” He leaned forward and lightly kissed him. It was brief and meant more than all the other times he’d kissed him for longer, when he’d taken Mind Honey. Eridan hugged him and closed his eyes. Sollux’s neck was warm against his cheek and he soon fell asleep.

 

Sollux lay Eridan gently down in bed. He pulled the blankets over him and kissed his cheek. He smiled and shakily stood up. His hands were shaking and he was itching to open a box of Mind Honey. Except he didn’t have one with him. He was far from cured of his addiction, but he was starting to make it. He would just have to take it slowly and carefully.

Sollux sat on his bed and pulled out his laptop. He brought out the code he’d been working up onto the screen and began typing. He was a bit slower than usual, but that was fine. He didn’t feel like doing anything fast at that moment.

 

When Eridan woke up his stomach was growling. He glanced around him until he located the clock. It was 2:35. He’d missed lunch. He really didn’t want to move, but he was starving. So he shakily sat up and put his feet on the floor. He grabbed the bedside table and used it to help him stand. His legs shook a bit and he had a terrible headache. But he was okay. He trudged out of the dorm and down the hall to the vending machines. He didn’t care that he didn’t have a shirt on and a few guys were staring at the bandages on his wrists. He got two bags of chips and two soda cans. Then he walked back to his dorm and flipped off the guys who were staring.

“Sol, have some food.” Eridan said, holding up a chip bag. Sollux looked up from his laptop and nodded. He put his laptop down and took the bag and a soda. Eridan sat next to him and they ate their food in silence. The only sound was their chewing and the rustling of the chip bags.

While they drank their soda Sollux put his arm around Eridan. Eridan rested his head on his shoulder and sipped his soda. He wished he could say he was happy, but at that moment he was too tired to feel any emotions. When he finished his soda he just tossed the can on the floor. Sollux did the same and for awhile they just sat there. Eventually Eridan’s eyelids grew heavy and he kept yawning. He lay down on Sollux’s bed, too tired to go to his, and fell asleep.

When Eridan woke up he was lying on his side with Sollux behind him with his arms wrapped around him. It was nice and warm and Eridan was content just to lie there. Then he heard someone knocking at their door. He sighed and stood up, waking Sollux up in the process. He walked up to the door and opened it. Feferi smiled at him.

“Hi Eridan. How are you doing?” Eridan shrugged and let her in. He sat on his bed and Feferi sat in a chair. “Sollux, who’s your dealer?” she asked. Eridan looked at Sollux, who seemed reluctant to answer.

“I don’t know her name.” he said. “She jutht getth her cuthtomerth to call her Mindfang.” Feferi frowned and tapped her chin.

“Mindfang…that sounds a little familiar.” She thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Whatever. If she shows up, give me a call and I can get try to get rid of her.”

“She’s stronger than she looks.” Eridan said, remembering when she had pinned him on the floor.

“I know. I’ll be careful. I’ll ask Meenah about her too.” Eridan and Sollux nodded quietly. No one said anything else and for awhile there was an awkward silence. To fill the silence Feferi told them funny stories Meenah had told her. They both tried their best to laugh but Eridan could tell Sollux couldn’t really manage many emotions either. In the end they just listened to Feferi talk about random things. It was actually really nice.

After a few hours Feferi had to leave to do homework. She gave Eridan and Sollux each a hug and wished them luck. Then she walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Eridan and Sollux were quiet for awhile. Then Eridan lay down and closed his eyes. He was exhausted. He needed to sleep. Sollux did too and lay down.

“G’night.” he said.

“Goodnight.” Eridan replied. And in a few moments they were both asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Eridan and Sollux didn’t go to their classes the next day either. They ate food from the vending machine and sat or lay next to each other, enjoying each other’s company. They didn’t talk much because they were still too drained to. Feferi visited at lunch with some food for them. They all ate together and then Feferi changed Eridan’s bandages.

“Meenah recognised the name Mindfang too.” Feferi said. “She couldn’t remember why though. She said she’d ask Aranea about it.”

“Okay.” Sollux said. Eridan wondered whether the thought of Sollux’s dealer getting arrested upset Sollux or not. He wasn’t over his addiction—that much was obvious from how his hands would occasionally shake or he would reach for his mattress then stop. Eridan wasn’t over his own, milder, addiction either. But it would be fine. Feferi was there to help them. She was a hundred times better than the stupid school counselor.

Eventually Feferi had to leave. She gave them each a hug again and wished them luck. Then she was gone. Eridan sighed and stayed where he was; sitting on the floor. Sollux was sitting next to him. They were silent for awhile. Eventually Sollux stood up and stretched. Eridan followed his example and frowned when his headache shot up. He rubbed his temples and grimaced.

“Athpirin?” Sollux asked. Eridan nodded and brought his hands down. Sollux tossed him the bottle and Eridan took a pill and swallowed it. He made himself not think of Mind Honey and the curiosity it came with. He handed Sollux the bottle and stretched his arms. Sollux took the opportunity to reach over and hug him. Eridan chuckled and hugged him back. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Then they both lay down on the nearest bed; which was Sollux’s. They were both exhausted still and Eridan fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

When Eridan woke up at first he couldn’t tell what had woken him up. He couldn’t hear anything except for the monotonous tick-tock-tick-tock of the clock and the rhythmic sound of Sollux’s breathing. Eridan and Sollux were lying next to each other with their legs tangled together. Sollux had his arms wrapped around Eridan. He was whispering quietly in his sleep and Eridan couldn’t help but smile.

“Will you wake him up for me?” Eridan jumped and sat up. Standing in the room, leaning against the window, was Sollux’s dealer.

“Wwhat the hell are you doin’ here?!” Eridan exclaimed. Sollux woke up and noticed her, jumping in surprise. Mindfang cackled.

“I’m here with some Mind Honey for him, of course.” She grinned and pulled out a small box of Mind Honey pills. “You can have some too if you want.” Eridan glared at her, but couldn’t deny that his gaze was being drawn to the small box. Mindfang took a pill out of the box and held it in front of them. “I can tell you both want them. I’ll throw in a free box just this once if you buy this one.” She pulled out another box and waved it. Eridan clenched his hands into fists. He didn’t want to get addicted. Except he already was, and he wanted those pills. He really did. But he couldn’t let Feferi down.

“Wwe promised not to anymore.” Eridan said. Mindfang grinned evilly.

“Oh yeah, that Peixes girl. But she doesn’t have to know, does she?” She stepped forward and held a pill in front of Sollux’s face. “I always keep a secret for my friends. She’ll never know you’re taking them again.” Eridan could see Sollux’s hands were shaking and he hoped he wouldn’t buy them. But there was a part of him that hoped he would. He hated that part.

“Sol…” he muttered. Sollux reached for the pill with shaking hands. Eridan wanted to grab his arm and yell at him. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He watched Sollux take the pill and put it in his mouth. But before he could swallow it Mindfang pressed a knife against his throat.

“Buy the box first, then I’ll let you swallow.” she said. Sollux reached into his pocket and pulled out some money. Mindfang grinned and pocketed the money. She drew her knife away and Sollux swallowed the pill. She handed him the box and pulled a second one out, which she tossed to Eridan. “That’s the only free box you get. Have some cash ready next time.” She grinned to them and jumped out the window.

Eridan could only look at the small box in his hands. He shouldn’t take them. He’d promised himself he would get over the addiction. But his hands were shaking and he was slowly opening the box. He took a pill out and held it to his lips. But he couldn’t do it. He was too scared. And the fear was overriding the curiosity. Eridan couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or relieved. He turned to Sollux and saw he’d swallowed almost half of his pills. He looked at Eridan and the pill sitting in the palm of his hand. He snatched it and put it in his mouth. Then he pulled Eridan forward and kissed him. Eridan felt the pill slide into his mouth. It was much easier to swallow it once it was in his mouth. And after swallowing one, swallowing more was easier too.


	15. Chapter 15

Eridan had never felt more disgusted with himself. He couldn’t remember a single detail of what had happened, but he could feel the effects. He had a pounding headache that refused to die down. His clothes and glasses were scattered somewhere on the floor with Sollux’s. He was lying in Sollux’s bed with him on top of him. Sollux was still unconscious and Eridan found he couldn’t move him. He glanced at the bandages on his wrists and he started to cry. He’d failed. He’d broken his promise to himself and to Feferi. He could never face her now.

After a few minutes Sollux woke up. He seemed to realize what happened immediately. He looked like he was on the verge of crying as well and hugged Eridan tightly. He apologized over and over again. Eridan sniffled and stroked his hair, trying to calm down both Sollux and himself.

Eventually Sollux got up and they both put their clothes back on. Eridan found their boxes of Mind Honey on the floor. They were both almost empty. He shivered and dropped his. Sollux curled up under the blankets of his bed. Eridan walked into the bathroom and locked the door.

He sat on the floor and took out Sollux’s spare knives. He took a random knife out with shaking hands and tore the bandages off his arms. He held his arms over the toilet again. Thanks to Feferi, the cuts were healing well and leaving scars. And Eridan was sure that with Feferi’s help the scars would fade. But now he was adding new ones. He shut his eyes and cut across his arms, flinching at the pain. He could feel tears running down his cheeks and he sobbed and hung his head. He had failed. Completely.

 

Feferi was worried. She wasn’t surprised that Eridan and Sollux weren’t under the tree and hadn’t been to classes that day. She had expected that. No, what worried her was the fact they weren’t answering when she knocked. Of course, they could be sleeping. Feferi dialed Eridan’s number and waited for him to pick up. But he didn’t. Now Feferi was even more worried. She walked out of the boy’s dorm and into the university. She found the school counselor in her office. She smiled at Feferi when she walked in.

“Hello. I don’t think you’re a student at this school.” Feferi shook her head.

“I go to a school nearby. My friend Eridan goes here.” The counselor nodded.

“Yes. Do you know how he’s doing? His grades have dropped and he and his roommate Sollux haven’t been coming to class. I’m worried about them.” Feferi bit her lip and frowned worriedly.

“I…I tried calling Eridan just now, but he’s not picking up. I’m worried something might have happened.” The counselor nodded and stood up.

“I’ll get the keys for the boys’ dorm. We’ll go see them.” Feferi smiled and nodded. The counselor went to the office and came back with a ring of keys. “Let’s go.”

 

Eridan stared blankly at his phone. Feferi had tried calling him. But he hadn’t picked up. He couldn’t. There was no way he could ever face her. He was supposed to be getting over the addiction with Sollux, but now they were both worse than ever. Eridan shuddered and closed his eyes. He tried not to picture Feferi’s disappointed face staring at them both.

“Damn it.” he muttered. He dropped the knife and shakily stood up. He walked to the bathroom door and opened it. Sollux was sitting up on his bed, curled up into a ball. He had the two boxes of Mind Honey in front of him and was staring at them with shaking hands. Eridan walked up to him and stared at the boxes. He hated them. But he longed for them. His hands shook uncontrollably and he found himself reaching for his box. He knew Sollux was too. He hated how much he craved the pills. But it was too tempting. He was too curious. Curiosity killed the cat, right? But how could satisfaction bring Eridan back when he never got it?

Eridan poured the remaining pills onto his hand. He held them up to his mouth and poured them in. He saw Sollux do the same. He closed his mouth and took a deep breath. It was his last chance to stop himself. But he couldn’t. He never could. And he swallowed the pills, same as Sollux.


	16. Chapter 16

Eridan couldn’t figure out where he was. He had a pounding headache, his eyes were closed and he could feel that he was sitting in a sofa or something. From what he could remember he’d been in bed with Sollux. He frowned and slowly blinked his eyes open.

He was sitting on a couch in the counselling office. Sollux was sitting next to him; asleep or unconscious. Sitting in a chair across from them was the school counselor, and standing next to her was Feferi. Eridan stared at them in confusion. Feferi looked like she was trying not to cry and the counselor looked like she wished she had some coffee.

Sollux stirred next to Eridan. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked just as confused as Eridan as he looked around them.

“What happened? Where are we?” he asked. Feferi walked up to them and slapped them both. Eridan stared at her in surprise, rubbing his stinging cheek.

“Fef, what-”

“We found these in your room.” Feferi said, holding up two empty boxes of Mind Honey. Eridan felt himself pale and stared at his feet. “What happened?”

“I---wwe---” Eridan stuttered, but found he couldn’t say anything. He glanced helplessly at Sollux. Sollux’s hands were shaking and he was staring at the ground.

“…My dealer came.” he said. Feferi sighed but didn’t interrupt him. “I…I tried not to buy any but…she...” Feferi came up and hugged both of them. Eridan hugged her back and he and Sollux started apologizing.

“You don’t have to apologize.” she said. “I understand. I should have stayed with you both to make shore that didn’t happen.” After hugging and almost crying for awhile they stopped and Feferi stood back up.

“Are we in trouble?” Sollux asked, looking at the counselor. She sighed and shrugged.

“I haven’t told anyone yet. I’m still thinking about it.” Eridan and Sollux nodded. They were all quiet for awhile. Then Feferi’s phone went off.

“Hello? Oh, hi. What’s up?” Eridan and Sollux watched Feferi listen to someone on her phone. “I sea… Yes. Okay. Okay, thank you so much. Uh-huh. Bye.” Feferi sighed and hung up. “That was Aranea.” she said. “Mindfang, your dealer, is her younger sister Vriska. She ran away just now but Aranea’s called the police on her.”

“Okay.” Sollux said. Eridan couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Both of you should stay here for now.” the counselor said. “Do either of you have to go to the bathroom?”

“…Yeah.” Eridan said, standing up.

“Okay, be quick.” He walked out of the office and around a corner. He didn’t actually need to go to the bathroom; he just needed to get away from the atmosphere in that room. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and just stood there. He took some deep breaths to try and clear his mind. The hallway was so quiet he was sure he could hear the quietest creature walking. But somehow he didn’t notice the person behind him until they wrapped an arm around his neck and pressed something to his back.

“Why don’t we go outside and have a little chat, Eridan?”

 

Feferi was worried. Eridan hadn’t come back from the bathroom. Sollux offered to go look for him but Feferi had him stay seated.

“We can’t have you both run off.” the counselor said. Feferi nodded and dialed Eridan’s number on her phone. She sighed with relief when she heard him pick up.

“Hi Eridan, it’s Feferi. You’re taking awhile, is everyfin okay?” But the person who answered wasn’t Eridan.

“I have Eridan. Let me off the hook if you don’t want him to die.”


	17. Chapter 17

Eridan could hardly believe the situation he’d gotten himself into. He was in some abandoned building, tied to a chair. Sollux’s dealer Vriska was standing against the wall, holding his phone. She had a gun in her left pocket. A black backpack was sitting open next to her and Eridan could see boxes of Mind Honey inside.

“I have Eridan. Let me off the hook if you don’t want him to die.” Vriska said. She hung up and dropped Eridan’s phone on the ground. Then she smashed it with her foot. Eridan winced and she grinned. She dragged her bag over next to Eridan and pulled out a box. She took a pill out and held it in front of his face. “Mind Honey?” she offered, grinning.

“…N-no.” Eridan mumbled. But his hands were shaking and he licked his lips as he stared at the pill. Vriska smirked and pressed it against his lips. He jerked his head away. She grabbed his jaw and forced his mouth open. He tried to jerk his head out of her grip but it was useless. She dropped the pill into his mouth and closed his mouth tight. But she didn’t need to bother. Once it was in his mouth, Eridan automatically swallowed it.

 

Feferi stared at her phone in horror, panic beginning to set in. That must have been Vriska. But how had she gotten Eridan?! Feferi quickly dialed Aranea’s number.

“FF? Ith Eridan okay?” Sollux asked. Feferi ignored him and waited for Aranea to pick up.

“Hi Feferi, is everything okay?” Aranea asked.

“N-no!” Feferi exclaimed. “Eridan went to use the bathroom, but when he didn’t come back I called him but someone I think was Vriska answered!”

“What did she say?!”

“Um, she said she has Eridan and we have to let her off the hook or he’ll die or…” Feferi could feel herself getting close to tears. Sollux looked the same.

“We’re going after her.” Aranea said.

“What?”

“I’ll meet you at the university. We have to find her.”

“O-okay.” Aranea hung up and Feferi did too. Sollux looked scared and panicked. “Aranea’s meeting us here, and then we’re going after her.” Sollux nodded and stuffed his shaking hands into his pockets. Feferi hugged him and took some deep breaths to keep herself from crying.

“I should have gone with him.” Sollux said. Feferi shook her head.

“No, she would have gotten you too. Don’t worry, we’ll get him back.” Sollux nodded.

“I know.”

Twenty minutes later, they were standing outside the school with Aranea and Meenah. After a long debate the counselor agreed to wait for them and not tell anyone. But they had to call her immediately if they needed help or got Eridan back. Or both.

“Okay, everyone ready?” Aranea asked. Feferi and Sollux nodded. “Okay, I know how my sister thinks, so I have an idea of the places where she could be. Just try not to attract attention to ourselves.” They all got into Meenah’s car and Aranea sat in the driver’s seat.

“Be fast please.” Feferi said. Aranea nodded and drove off. Feferi sat back and glanced at Sollux. He looked stressed out and scared as hell. She patted his shoulder and smiled as comfortingly as she could. “It’ll be okay.” Sollux sighed and nodded.

“…Yeah.”

 

Sollux felt like he was in a dream. Or more specifically; a nightmare. His hands shook and he bit the inside of his cheek until it bled. Feferi kept patting his shoulder and telling him it was going to work out. He only half listened. It was all his fault. He should have gone with Eridan, then maybe he could have stopped Vriska. Everything was his fault. He’d made Eridan take Mind Honey. He’d messed him up completely. And now he might have gotten him killed.

“Here.” Aranea said, stopping the car. “I’m sure she’s here.” Sollux followed Feferi out of the car. Aranea had stopped outside a run-down factory that was on the edge of the city. The windows were boarded up and it was obvious the door had been, but someone had taken the boards down.

“Let’s go.” Meenah said. Aranea nodded and they walked inside the factory.

It was old and dusty, but there were tracks in the dust of someone walking and dragging someone behind them. They were easy enough to follow. Aranea walked ahead of everyone else. Sollux wrung his hands nervously as he followed the others. They went through some rooms that were full of rusted machinery. The tracks in the dust led them through lots of rooms and Sollux was beginning to get nervous. Eventually they stopped by a door that had a spider spray-painted on it in blue. Aranea sighed and nodded.

“This is it. That’s her symbol.” she said. Sollux nodded. It was on the back of her jacket. He’d seen it enough times. Aranea reached forward and opened the door. Sollux took a deep breath and they followed her inside.


	18. Chapter 18

“Oh, you guys found me.” Vriska said. She was standing on Eridan’s left side. Eridan was tied to a chair and from the distant look in his eyes and the empty boxes of Mind Honey on the floor, Sollux could tell he’d been heavily drugged. He glared at Vriska, who just smiled back at him. She had a gun in her left hand, which she waved casually.

“I thought I told you guys to let me off the hook.” she said.

“That’s not happening.” Feferi said. Vriska smirked. She opened her right hand, revealing four Mind Honey pills.

“Want them Sollux? If not, Eridan will have them.” Sollux stared at the pills and his hands shook. He started to reach for them but Feferi grabbed his arm.

“He doesn’t want them.” she said. Vriska shrugged and popped them in her mouth. Then she pulled Eridan’s face towards her and kissed him. Sollux seethed and was about to jump her. Then she pointed her gun at him, at which he hesitated. Then she pointed the gun at Eridan. Sollux stopped altogether. He could only watch Eridan swallow the pills. Vriska pulled her face away from him and smirked at Sollux. Sollux glared at her.

“You bitch!” he snapped. She shrugged and stuck her tongue out at him. She grabbed Eridan’s hair with her right hand and tilted his head back. Then she pointed her gun at his neck.

“You should leave now if you don’t want your boyfriend to die.” Sollux stared at her.

“…Would you really kill thomeone?” he asked. Vriska smirked.

“Of course. I’ve done it before.”

“What?!” Aranea exclaimed. Vriska nodded and grinned at Sollux.

“Didn’t you ever wonder who killed Aradia?”

Sollux felt like he’d just been stabbed. He stared at Vriska with a look of horror. He felt cold inside and he kept rethinking what she had just said. Aradia’s murderer had never been caught. But was the murderer really this woman? She’d been selling Sollux self-destroying drugs ever since that. She’d said she understood his pain and that the pills would help him. But they didn’t. And even after Sollux had realized that he’d still trusted Vriska.

“…You killed her?” he asked. Vriska nodded, looking smug.

“That’s right. So don’t think I won’t kill him.” She pressed the gun against the skin on Eridan’s neck. Sollux stared at him helplessly. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want Eridan to get killed, but he didn’t want Vriska to drug him even more. He was stressing out and his hands were shaking.

“Sollux…” Feferi whispered, grabbing his shoulder. “We can’t let her drug him more, she’ll kill him.” Sollux nodded. He knew that. But he still didn’t know what to do. If he made one move, Eridan was dead. It was an impossible situation.

“Aren’t you going to leave?” Vriska asked. Sollux hesitated.

“No they’re not.” Vriska started to turn around. Then the person behind her hit her over the head and she collapsed. It was the counselor. “Sorry, but I followed you guys. I figured you could use my help.”

“Thanks.” Feferi said. Sollux ran up to Eridan and began to untie him. Feferi and the counselor helped him. Sollux picked Eridan up and tried to shake him awake.

“Eridan! Hey, wake up!” Feferi placed her ear on his chest and waited a second.

“I can hear a heartbeat. But we should probably take him to a hospital.” Sollux nodded and gently picked Eridan up. He carried him out of the building and they lay him down on the back seats of Meenah’s car. Sollux sat with him with his head on his lap. Feferi sat with him as well and Aranea drove to the hospital. The counselor, who told them to call her Rose, called the police and stayed behind.

During the whole drive Sollux stared at Eridan’s unconscious face. He couldn’t erase the guilt gnawing at him, but he felt relieved that they’d gotten him back. He stroked Eridan’s cheek and muttered apologies over and over again. He felt so terrible for everything he’d caused. He hoped Eridan would forgive him.


	19. Chapter 19

Eridan was too exhausted to move. He wanted to open his eyes but they felt like they had weights on them. He had the worst headache he’d ever had and he wished he could swallow an aspirin. But he honestly would rather avoid pills, even beneficial ones, for awhile.

He wondered where he was. He could feel that he was lying on something and there was a blanket over him. He could hear beeping around him that reminded him of the machines in hospitals. Wherever he was, it was bright and the light was shining through his eyelids, making his headache worse. He frowned and groaned. He felt like there was a pressure on his chest and it worried him. He tried to take a deep breath and suddenly started coughing. He felt a warm liquid in his mouth and realized it was blood. He tried to swallow it but started to choke. He heard people speaking quickly and he couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying. Then everything went quiet and the light went out.

When Eridan woke up again the pressure on his chest was gone. His limbs still felt like lead but he was pretty sure he could open his eyes. He squinted and tried to look around him. His vision was blurry and he realized he didn’t have his glasses on. He could make out a white room and someone sitting next to him, but he couldn’t tell who.

“Wwhere are my glasses?” Eridan croaked. His voice was hoarse and his throat and mouth were dry. The person next to him immediately put his glasses on his face. Eridan blinked a few times until his vision cleared and he saw who had handed him his glasses. “Sol!”

“Jeez, I thought you were never gonna wake up.” Sollux said. He looked incredibly relieved. Eridan blinked and looked around him. He was in a hospital room. There was an oxygen mask on his face to help him breathe. There was a heart monitor attached to him that was beeping regularly. Eridan frowned at the oxygen mask. Sollux reached forward and took it off him.

“Wwhat happened?” Eridan asked.

“Vrithka drugged you a bunch with Mind Honey. You’ve been in a coma for a month.”

“A month?!” Eridan exclaimed. Sollux nodded.

“Yeah. FF and I have been vithiting you ath many timeth ath we can. She should be here in half an hour.” Eridan nodded and glanced at his arms. The bandages had been changed to cleaner ones. He tried moving his arms but could only manage to twitch his fingers. He sighed and stared at the ceiling.

“This is so boring.” he complained. Sollux chuckled and nodded. A nurse walked in and gasped when she saw Eridan.

“Oh, you’re awake!” She walked up to him and knelt next to him. “How do you feel?”

“I havve a fuckin' headache, I’m too exhausted to movve more than my fingers and I’m bored out of my mind.” The nurse nodded and stood up.

“Would you like me to help you sit up?” Eridan nodded and the nurse pulled him into a sitting position. She placed a pillow behind his back and he leaned against it. “I’ll call your friend to let her know you’re awake.” Eridan nodded and the nurse walked out of the room.

“Did they mention the coma to by dad and brother?” Eridan asked. Sollux nodded.

“Yeah, but they didn’t really theem to care.” Eridan sighed and nodded. He wasn’t surprised. He would have been suspicious if they’d actually cared enough to phone him.

“They’re such dicks.” he muttered. Sollux nodded. They were both silent for a moment.

“Hey, thorry for getting you caught up in all thith.” Sollux said. Eridan shook his head.

“It’s fine. It’s kind of my owwn fault too I guess.”

“But I shouldn’t have made you take the Mind Honey.” 

“That wwasn’t your fault. You wwere too high to stop yourself.” Sollux shrugged and hung his head.

“I was afraid I’d gotten you killed.” Eridan sighed.

“Don’t wworry, I’m not going to die so easily.” Sollux chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah.” He reached forward and hugged Eridan. Eridan would have hugged him back but he still couldn’t move. Instead he rested his head on Sollux’s shoulder. Sollux tilted Eridan’s head to face him and kissed him. Eridan kissed him back and smiled.

“Thanks Sol.”

“Eridan!” Eridan and Sollux jumped and turned to see Feferi run in. She pulled Eridan into a hug and squeezed. “Oh my gosh! I was soooo worried! Thank goodness you’re okay!” Eridan smiled and nodded.

“Sorry for wworrying you Fef.” Feferi smiled and shook her head.

“Don’t apologize. You don’t have too. What matters is you’re okay now!” Eridan nodded. Sollux pulled over another chair and Feferi sat down.

“So wwhat’s happened wwhile I wwas in a coma?” Eridan asked. 

“Vriska went to court for killing Aradia and selling Mind Honey illegally.” Eridan frowned. She’d killed someone?! She was definitely crazy. “She’s gone to jail for…I can’t remember how long. But you and Sollux are off the hook thanks to some help from Rose.”

“You mithed enough work that you’ll probably have to redo the thchool year if you don’t catch up.” Sollux added. Eridan sighed. Great, a hell of a lot of work to do once he got out of the hospital. “Chill, I’m thtill your roommate and I’m gonna be at the univerthity for more than a year.” Eridan smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I knoww.” Sollux and Feferi kept talking about the things that had happened. Eventually a nurse came in with some food for Eridan. It took some effort but he was able to lift his arm and eat the food. He was told he would be able to leave the hospital soon. Feferi and Sollux were really happy to hear that and Feferi started planning for them to all go out for supper to celebrate. Eridan smiled as he listened to Feferi talk and Sollux give his opinions on nearby restaurants. He’d been through a lot and he’d nearly died, but he was okay now. And he was certain he’d be okay for the rest of his life.


End file.
